


Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.

by TheDumbestAvenger



Series: Whumptober 2020 [28]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Things Go Wrong, Whumptober 2020, peter tries to explain, tony stark doesn't understand memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27243307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDumbestAvenger/pseuds/TheDumbestAvenger
Summary: Tony doesn’t understand memes. I don’t know how else to explain this mess.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Whumptober 2020 [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946023
Comments: 11
Kudos: 59
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.

**Author's Note:**

> Day 28!
> 
> Um... yeah. Good luck reading this one

“I still don’t understand.” Tony threw his hands in the air, a little overdramatic if you asked Peter. But then again, this was Tony Stark, aka the guy who announced  _ I am Iron Man _ on a live press conference and, quite literally, shifted the world into a whole new gear of living. So yeah, maybe a few dramatics were to be expected.

“It’s quite simple, Mister Stark. There’s not really anything to get.” Peter put on his best ‘teaching voice’ and started his explanation all over again. “You see, in the very beginning there was only j-”

“No!” Tony waved his arms and shot up from his stool. “I’m not listening to this again. Not without another coffee at least.”

“Are you sure you should have more? Aren’t you already on, like, your fourth since I got here?”

“Yes,” Tony shot Peter a glare as he crossed the lab towards the door. “That’s just how tiring you are.”

“Hey!”

Tony hesitated in the doorway, one hand on the frame with one eyebrow raised. “Are you coming or what, kid?”

Peter folded his arms. “Thought I was too tiring to be around.”

“Suit yourself.” Tony shrugged and walked out, singing back, “I was going to give you one last chance to explain.”

Within a second, Peter had scampered across the lab and skided out of the door, running down the hall after Tony. “So, as I was saying-”

“Thought that would get your attention,” Tony muttered.

“ _ As I was saying _ , it all started with jeans.” Peter spread his hands out in front of him as if the idea of jeans was an entirely new concept.

“Okay, that part I understand.”

“Then, there was jorts.”

Tony let out a heavy sigh. “Right.”

“Which, by the way, can be turned back into jants for the winter. You know, so you don’t get cold and all. Just gotta keep some glue handy.”

“Obviously…”

“There’s also jirts, joots - gotta love a good pair of joots. Oh! And I can’t forget jrocs, though only a monster would wear them with jocks.” Tony stared blankly as they walked and ran a hand over his face. “It’s not only clothes, though, you see. There’s a jambourghini, you should buy one of them.  _ Jencils _ .”

“Jenciles-?”

Peter gasped and froze, holding his hands out. “Mister Stark, how big the Avengers Facility, square footing wise? And how expensive is denim?”

Tony shook his head quickly, “Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say-”

“The Javengers Jacility. Oh my god…” Peter ran to catch up again, running his hand along the railing at the top of the stairs. He spoke in a whisper. “Jiron Jam.”

Tony visibly shuddered, his face contorting in disgust. “That’s- That’s something that’s never going to leave my head ever again.”

Peter grinned, “Welcome to my world.”

“I’m not sure I like it.”

“Do you understand yet, though? Like, if I showed you a denim candle…”

Tony took a long breath, before eventually whispering. “...Jandle.”

“Yes!” Peter exclaimed, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Tony. “Jandles, exactly!”

Chuckling, Tony pushed Peter away. “I really don’t think this is a cause for celebration.”

“Oh,” Peter stepped back, still grinning, “This is  _ definitely  _ a cause for celebration. I tried explaining to Steve earlier, he didn’t even get past jorts.”

“Rogers doesn’t understand anything invented after 1940.” Peter rocked back and forth on his toes as Tony spoke. “Did I ever tell you about that time he tried to email me, but he’d never sent an email before? ‘Cause that was-” Tony’s eyes widened as Peter lost his balance and tipped backwards. “Kid! Watch out!” He lunged forward, fingertips scraping the fabric of Peter’s science pun t-shirt.  _ J-shirt, _ he thought for the briefest of second. He’d have been suitably disgusted with himself if Peter hadn’t been tumbling head over heels down the flight of stairs.

Tony chased after him, heart hammering in his chest and blood rushing in his ears. He turned the corner to the landing where, thankfully, Peter lay, his momentum not enough to carry him down another flight.

“Kid?” Peter wasn’t moving, for a moment, Tony’s wasn’t sure he was even breathing, but as he got closer the steady rise and fall of Peter’s chest became clear. Tony let out a breath of his own. “Hey, kid, you awake?”

Peter groaned, rolling ever so slowly onto his back and revealing a bruise already forming on his forehead. Tony helped ease him into a sitting position, leaning back against the wall, as Peter massaged his shoulder.

“How you feeling? Do I need to get Doctor Cho? What hurts?” Tony ran through questions as fast as Peter rattled off his dumb jean memes.

“Urgh,” Peter moaned, his eyes half shut, “Mister Stark?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“I think I’ve got a joncussion.”

**Author's Note:**

> don't worry I'm embarrassed enough for myself already


End file.
